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MJLPHD
Poor Matthew gives life philosophies with contemporary pearls of wisdom, each matched with a classical one from Poor Richard's Almanack.
Originally sent as emails to selected recipients in 2013.
Poor Matthew  X  Poor Richard

  1. Refrigerators hold their value, televisions don't ɤ Beauty & folly are old companions
  2. Ask the price first ψ Full of courtesy, full of craft
  3. No mood, no relationship ᴥ Experience keeps a dear school, yet fools will learn in no other
  4. Pharmacy girls know the best place to eat ф To lengthen life, lessen meals
  5. Better a dumb real estate agent than a smart one Ϋ Courage would fight but discretion won't let him
  6. Adults have manners, skills and dignity ȣ It is wise not to seek a secret and honest not to reveal it
  7. It takes a year or more to learn the lay of the land ʘ Gifts much expected are paid not given
  8. You can't eat cash † Death takes no bribes
  9. Umpiring is a thankless task ᵜ Most people return small favours, acknowledge middling ones and repay great ones with ingratitude
  10. Land value increases near train stations, it decreases near roads П Where there's no law there's no bread
  11. The best plots of land are occupied first ɤ Three removes are as bad as a fire
  12. The promise of tomorrow curbs bad behaviour ψ Many foxes grow grey, few grow good
  13. Stress harms health more than processed foods ᴥ He's a fool that makes his doctor his heir
  14. Wikipedia is the great oracle ф Opportunity is the great bawd
  15. Reading is less effort than writing Ϋ The doors of wisdom are never shut
  16. Better a President than a King ȣ Don't value a man for the quality he is of, but for the qualities he possesses
  17. Important to judge one's judgement ʘ The rotten apple spoils his companion
  18. Gift vouchers are a bad gift † Liberality is not in giving much but giving wisely
  19. Ice creams are best had on the trot Ʊ He who multiplies riches multiplies cares
  20. Air travel has lost the sparkle of yesteryear ✈ The cunning man steals a horse, the wise man lets him alone
  21. A suit lends credibility to its wearer ɤ Gifts burst rocks
  22. Pirates change allegiance with alacrity ψ Better slip with foot than tongue
  23. People need 1 hour of alone time each day ⌂ Bad commentators spoil the best of books
  24. Unsolicited help welcomed, unsolicited judgement not so ф Paintings and Fightings are best seen at a distance
  25. The old may have earned poverty, the young never did Ϋ Deny self for self's sake
  26. Trim your beard before church † Nice eaters seldom meet with a good dinner
  27. People don't choose to be gay ♥ There are no ugly loves or handsome prisons
  28. You can take things seriously without a serious look on your face ɤ Wink at small faults; remember thou hast great ones
  29. If there are no greens, it's bogan food ◌ If you have no honey in your pot, have some in your mouth
  30. Money talks and bullshit walks ☞ Bargaining has neither friends nor relations
  31. Easy to recognize a bias when it's against you ψ After crosses and losses men grow humbler and wiser
  32. Someone who has no vices is hiding one ☁ An open foe may prove a curse, but a pretended friend is worse
  33. Staff aged to perfection are worth paying for • Learn from the skillful, he that teaches himself has a fool for his master
  34. Exercise is the best vice ∞ Hunger is the best pickle
  35. Prefer the smart solution to the quick ф Ignorance leads men into a party, Shame keeps them from getting out again
  36. Religious holidays have become cultural holidays ✞ The creditors are a superstitious sect, great observers of set days and times
  37. Fortune favours the brave ♛ At 20 the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgment
  38. In this day and age, a career in tomfoolery is encouraged ✯ What's given shines, what's received is rusted
  39. Sports fill a slow news day ✉ If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write something worth reading or do things worth the writing
  40. Loss of patience reveals a lot of ones character Ϋ Imitate a good man, don't counterfeit him
  41. Why are some box chocolates in foil and not others? ☁ A flatterer never seems absurd; the flattered always takes his word
  42. Each generation is less grateful for the basics ɤ Many a man would have been worse if his estate had been better
  43. To disagree with something you must first fully understand it ✎ It is ill-manners to silence a fool and cruelty to let him go on
  44. Employers all want their pound of flesh ❧ If thou injurest conscience, it will have its revenge on thee
  45. Stories are mostly reported to attract readership ◊ A lie stands on 1 leg, the truth 2
  46. For the truth, ask what someone likes least ✍ He that can compose himself, is wiser than he that composes books
  47. Be vocal when you don't know, quiet when you do ✪ As we must account for every idle word, so we must for every idle silence
  48. Water or cola should not cost more than $1 ⊰ What maintains one vice would bring up two children
  49. Don't talk politics at the dinner table, that's what coffee shops are for ☕ He that cannot bear with other people's passions cannot govern his own
  50. The most fit judgments come from within ♥ Love your enemies for they tell you your faults
  51. Only public wealth makes a country liveable ⁂ He that lives well is learned enough
  52. Capacity is holding several unresolved questions in mind ȣ Cunning proceeds from want of capacity
  53. Why should life be plain sailing? ≡ Diligence is the mother of good luck
  54. When possible, vote with your feet ☁ He is not well-bred that cannot bear ill-breeding, in others
  55. Knowing is in the eye ⊙ If thou hast wit & learning, add to it wisdom and modesty
  56. To win at poker needs a slightly better hand than your opponent ✍ Keep flax from fire and youth from gaming
  57. Nothing ruder than expecting a tip ➳ Be not niggardly of what costs thee nothing, as courtesy, counsel & countenance
  58. Real estate agents are twice as rotten as tenants † Approve not of him who commends all you say
  59. Don't sell your dignity, it is part of your soul ♡ Listeners seldom hear any good of themselves
  60. Don't miss out on spices, they are a healthy distraction ❧ Three good meals a day is bad living
  61. If you're here for a long stay, make yourself comfortable ☁ Love, cough and a smoke aren't well hid
  62. Assholes don't come from countries ✂ Men take more pains to mask than mend
  63. North Europe is progressive and productive, east Europe pretends to meet this agenda, south Europe doesn't bother ☭ The absent are never without fault, the present without excuse
  64. Days are richer that contain space for spontaneity ⌚ Wish a miser long life and you wish him no good
  65. Good wine, good company 🍷 Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing
  66. Sell not just the product but the experience ♲ Three things men are most liable to be cheated in: a horse, a wig and a wife
  67. Payrises are taxed, savings untaxed ⁂ It is not leisure that is not used
  68. Opinions are ten a penny ◌ If you'd have a servant that you like, serve your self
  69. Better to judge one's way of thinking rather than their words Ⅲ The excellency of hogs is fatness, of men virtue
  70. Gifts and gestures have distant agendas ϟ In rivers and bad governments, the lightest things swim at top
  71. Informative advice tends to contain the least judgment • Pox take you, is no curse to some people
  72. Wars are caused by the old, fought by the young ➳ Anger warms the invention, but overheats the oven
  73. Sugars increase blood viscosity, salts decrease it ❦ Thou hadst better eat salt with the philosophers of Greece, than sugar with the courtiers of Italy
  74. Street junk varies by suburb ♡ He that falls in love with himself, will have no rivals
  75. Use not agricultural land for grazing nor geniuses for donkey work † Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sun-dial in the shade!
  76. Better to travel at equinox than at solstice ❀ Look before, or you'll find yourself behind
  77. Don't text message while driving ♿ Hold your council before dinner; the full belly hates thinking as well as acting
  78. Quiet prejudices are deeply entrenched, loud ones only on the surface ✯ A good conscience is a continual Christmas
  79. No great country was ever made without the input of great women ☺ She that paints her face, thinks of her tail
  80. Life is better without owning a car ʘ The worst wheel of the cart makes the most noise
  81. There is usually both push and pull factor ϟ Hope of gain, lessens pain
  82. Dairy contributes to the most products ф Pray don't burn my house to roast your eggs
  83. Blacks are overrepresented in American toll booths ☻ Better than to know the names of things is to know their nature
  84. Everyone has their own agenda and they rarely reveal all of it ☁ You may talk too much on the best of subjects
  85. Mismatched couples make great hosts ۵ Dally not with other folks women or money
  86. An ounce of gold cannot buy an ounce of time ⌛ Lost time is never found again
  87. Motorbikes place riders at great risk • Wish not so much to live long as to live well
  88. Growing old gracefully is the divine gift we give ourselves ⊰ Eat to please thyself, but dress to please others
  89. Avoid accidents, even ones that aren't your fault ➳ A wolf eats sheep but now and then, thousands are devoured by men
  90. Sometimes it's best to take the bull by the horns ✯ If evils come not, our fears are vain; If they do, fear but augments the pain
  91. Resources greatly increase comfort, they little increase happiness 🚚 It's common for men to give pretended reasons instead of one real one
  92. To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid ❦ Fools make feasts and wise men eat them
  93. Trust your sense of smell П He's a fool that cannot conceal his wisdom
  94. Forbidden is exciting ɤ In a discreet man's mouth, a public thing is private
  95. Earlier adopters pay the largest margins ✢ He that can have patience can have what he will
  96. If most are already there, you're late ◊ Words may show a man's wit but actions his meaning
  97. Luncheon is a pretentious word Ϫ A good lawyer is a bad neighbour
  98. Jews have won a lot of Nobel prizes ✡ Saying and doing have quarreled and parted
  99. Always explain a punishment † Pardoning the bad is injuring the good
  100. Professors must be corrigible ✯ Admiration is the daughter of ignorance
  101. Most people won't admit to immense monetary wealth ◌ Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it
  102. Rules too gentle or severe are seldom followed ❅ Love thy neighbor; yet don't pull down your hedge
  103. Beware the young doctor and the old barber ✂ Beware the young psychologist and the old chemist
  104. Spiders' walk unsettles humans ж Much virtue in herbs, little in men
  105. Our stage in life is constantly changing Ⅲ The horse thinks one thing, he that saddles him another
  106. Don't hesitate to put someone in the sin bin ☞ If you'd loose a troublesome visitor, lend him money
  107. Cars are no longer a sign of affluence ☁ There are 3 faithful friends: an old wife, an old dog and ready money
  108. It's not who is right, it's what is right ∞ The most exquisite folly is made of wisdom spun too fine
  109. Complainers like the sound of their own voice * The closed mouth catches no flies
  110. Focus on something unsolved ϟ Well done is better than well said
  111. Most of us must be reminded how old we are ⌚ An old young man will be a young old man
  112. Things happen fast when interests are aligned ☩ He that pays for work before it is done has but a pennyworth for twopence
  113. No farmers, no food, no good ✹ There are lazy minds as well as lazy bodies
  114. Things are worth what someone is willing to pay for them ≡ The poor have little, beggars none, the rich too much, enough not one
  115. Don't hire someone who is not prepared to eat the offal ψ Can't obey, can't command
  116. Know what you want to happen ≣ Go not to the doctor with every distemper, the lawyer with every quarrel or the pot with every thirst
  117. Have a favourite fragrance ≃ To persuade, appeal to interest not intellect
  118. If you can't move on from most disagreements you won't have a good life ❃ As charms are nonsense, nonsense is a charm
  119. Closeness looks for somewhere to go ♥ Lovers, travelers and poets will give money to be heard
  120. Fame is like an egg with the shell removed 💃 He is ill cloth'd, who is bare of virtue
  121. We all have a piece missing ♡ Innocence is its own defence
  122. Plot-holes are sometimes necessary to tell a good story ◌ Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man, healthy, wealthy and wise
  123. If you're not prepared to change your behaviour, you aren't entitled to complain ⁂ Sloth and silence are a fool's virtues
  124. Life has no character limits П Blame-all and Praise-all are two blockheads
  125. Beware the woman who drives a limo 🚚 If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the philosophers stone
  126. Every man needs a clean place to shit, shower & shave Ⅱ No man was ever glorious, who was not laborious
  127. A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush ✌ Pay what you owe and you'll know what you own
  128. Not hard to create confusion ⊰ Wiseguys talk much but say little
  129. Drive more than 40 min to work? You're a road warrior. ✠ Drive thy business; let not that drive thee
  130. Possession is 9 tenths of the law ✪ If you ride a horse, sit close and tight, If you ride a man, sit easy and light
  131. Beauty is an awareness of value ❃ What one relishes, nourishes
  132. People enter for a reason or a season ʘ Onions can make even heirs and widows weep
  133. The best gifts aren't expected ❂ A father's a treasure; a brother's a comfort; a friend is both
  134. Prefer people of substance over people of status 💃 He is no clown that drives the plow, but he that doth clownish things
  135. Why is the best value product hidden at the back of the store? ℞ Weighty questions ask for deliberate answers
  136. Don't shop on an empty stomach П Most of the learning in use is of no great use
  137. Too many are afraid to get sued ✯ Listeners seldom hear any good of themselves
  138. Seek simplicity, but distrust it ◌ There's more old drunkards than old doctors
  139. Feedback is a form of judgment ≣ Many complain of their memory, few of their judgement
  140. One man's trash is another's treasure ⌚ Time is a herb that cures all diseases
  141. French are overtly rude, English discreetly ➳ There's a time to wink as well as to see
  142. Much thought and progress is made in winter ❄ If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun
  143. People don't have to be wise to possess knowledge that we don't ➳ Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn
  144. Buy not from the sand people. Do you see agriculture or factories? ♨ Many have quarreled about religion, that never practiced it
  145. Happiness depends largely on ones expectations ☩ 'Tis easier to suppress the first desire, than to satisfy all that follow it
  146. Harder to make an insurance claim than to get robbed ✫ The miser's cheese is the wholesomest
  147. If academia pays best, choose another industry ※ It's the easiest thing in the world to deceive oneself
  148. Agriculture vastly increases fecundity ɣ Light heeled parents make leaden heeled children
  149. Don't meet lovers on the internet; try speed dating ❣ An empty bag will not stand upright
  150. It's often best to stew them slowly ѳ Let thy discontents be secrets
  151. Some parts of us are old, other parts young † Some are weatherwise, some are otherwise
  152. Plants commonly have the finest aroma where they struggle to grow ж Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it is
  153. Buildings occupied by their owners get the most improvements ✢ Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, nor liberty to purchase power
  154. Meals are usually run at a loss, drinks at a profit ф He that would live in peace & at ease, must not speak all he knows or judge all he sees
  155. While Sundays may no longer be Holy, they are still Sacred ᴥ Keep some mystique, Men freely ford that see the shallows
  156. Daylight savings is too smart by half ☄ The sun never repents of the good he does, nor does he ever demand a recompence
  157. You can see someone's demeanor out of the corner of your eye ψ Little rogues easily become great ones
  158. Avoid status transactions ѳ The poor man must walk to get meat for his stomach, the rich man to get a stomach to his meat
  159. To learn ones nature, watch them drive through traffic ⚛ He that can take rest is greater than he that can take cities
  160. The best ball of twine is made when you save string ʘ Blessed is he that expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed
  161. Character judgements are innate; vocabulary is acquired • The sting of a reproach is the truth of it
  162. Boredom is a serious obstacle ☎ To hear other peoples afflictions, every one has courage enough, and to spare
  163. Know when to play chess and when to play checkers ψ Beware of him that is slow to anger
  164. Use your inside voice ⊰ The proud hate pride – in others
  165. Advice, like water, is best taken in small portions ☐ You may give a man an office, but you can't give him discretion
  166. Currencies rarely trade at fair value ✇ Let thy maidservant be faithful, strong and homely
  167. The greatest advancements and safeties are had in places that make all ☭ Anger warms the Invention, but overheats the Oven
  168. Know your master ☄ not a Holiday that's not kept holy
  169. People are vocal on good investments, quiet on bad ones ♛ The good paymaster is lord of another man's purse
  170. People rarely live up to their reputations ※ Success has ruined many a man
  171. Small opportunities often lead to large ones ʘ Meanness is the parent of insolence
  172. It's good to say yes, but know how to say no ☑ Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of
  173. People like to fill a void ⑂ When the wine enters, out goes the truth
  174. Memories are a valuable commodity ≣ Write injuries in dust, benefits in marble
  175. Small margins = numerous customers # Do not do what you would not have known
  176. Nothing as expensive as invading a country ➳ Think of 3 things, whence you came, where you are going and to whom you must account
  177. We never run out of things to buy ⌚ Happy's the wooing that's not long a doing
  178. Motorbikes, like blowflies, annoy human ears * Clean your finger before you point at my spots
  179. A happy customer has 10 friends; a disgruntled customer has 100 ❣ Mary's mouth costs her nothing, for she never opens it but at others expense
  180. Bogans tend to be conceited ɤ Jack Little sow'd little, & little he'll reap
  181. Some parts of us are old, others young Ϫ Let thy child's first lesson be obedience, and the second may be what thou wilt
  182. Assess the neighbours before buying in ♆ Drunkenness, that worst of evils, makes some men fools, some beasts, some devils
  183. Middle class jobs, top class infrastructure ☄ Sudden power is apt to be insolent, sudden liberty saucy; That behaves best which has grown gradually
  184. There's big money in hydrocarbons ☯ Children and princes will quarrel for trifles
  185. Integrity stands up to privation ➳ The wise and brave dares own that he was wrong
  186. A poor product won't be bought twice ☐ Who has deceived thee so oft as thy self?
  187. If the barber draws blood, don't give him a tip ✂ Necessity never made a good bargain
  188. Misuse of hegemony breeds hatred ♛ Without justice, courage is weak
  189. Better to pay for a meal before than after ❧ He that steals the old man's supper, does him no wrong
  190. Successful people don't do everything they're told ☞ He that pursues two hares at once, does not catch one
  191. It only takes a few words to ruin the mood ⚔ Man's tongue is soft and bone doth lack; Yet a stroke therewith may break a man's back
  192. We often teach what we need to learn ✢ There are three things extremely hard, steel, a diamond and to know one's self
  193. To earn one's respect, try to understand them from the bottom up ⚑ Great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults, greater to tell him his
  194. If you're a wanker, chances are you have a business card ☐ A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one
  195. Don't underestimate the power of silence • There's small revenge in words, but words may be greatly revenged
  196. Don't underestimate the power of presence ❃ Against some men's principle to pay interest and seems against others interest to pay the principal
  197. Innovation sometimes deserves a reward, efficiency always # Since thou art not sure of a minute, throw not away an hour
  198. Don't confuse a personality for a mental illness ɤ Ceremony is not civility; nor civility ceremony
  199. Insurance is for worriers ♲ Haste makes waste
  200. People remember who attends a funeral † You will be careful if you are wise, how you touch men's religion, credit or eyes
  201. Global warming is more visible close to the Earth's poles Ϫ He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else
  202. Very hard to prove the cause of a cancer ʘ Great talkers, little doers
  203. Strategy and shame are old foes ☯ He does not possess wealth, it possesses him
  204. Don't battle your contemporaries, battle yourself ⚑ Neither a fortress nor a maidenhead will hold out long after they begin to parly
  205. Try not to punish people for sharing their thoughts; equally, try not to punish people for listening to your thoughts ⌂ Bad commentators spoil the best of books
  206. Your past will catch up with you, if you live long enough ☻ Many foxes grow grey, few grow good
  207. Most of the time we can only admire or eschew ♕ Kings have long arms, but misfortune longer, let none think themselves out of her reach
  208. Manners, both good and bad, are contagious ɣ Only a well-bred man knows how to confess a fault or acknowledge himself in error
  209. Don't look at your smartphone as you cross the road ✍ Experience keeps a dear school, yet fools will learn in no other
  210. Have adventures before your parents die ψ After 3 days men grow weary of a wench, a guest and rainy weather
  211. Since manufactories have moved to China, very few improvements have been made in the west ※ There was never a good knife made of bad steel
  212. Don't order duck in an Italian restaurant ♨ Are you angry that others disappoint you? remember you cannot depend upon yourself
  213. Most pay for bad advice, but ignore good advice when it is free ✪ The wise man draws more advantage from his enemies, than the fool from his friends
  214. If there art a god in heaven, would he want Gays to have a hard life? ʘ Good wives and good plantations are made by good husbands
  215. Friday night outings are best avoided ◌ He that best understands the world, least likes it
  216. For every kind lawyer, there are three evil ones ⚑ Never praise your Cyder, Horse, or Bedfellow
  217. The more time you spend with someone, the greater the chances of reaching a bottom ⌘ There's none deceived but he that trusts
  218. Find a partner with the same number of children as you ➳ You can't pluck roses without fear of thorns, nor enjoy a fair wife without danger or horns
  219. Most people pay too little credence to the nature of the beast ≡ We may give advice, but we cannot give conduct
  220. The most pointless arguments start when someone thinks the other has been rude first ◍ Quarrels never could last long if on one side only lay the blame
  221. Many are good for a chat in daylight, far fewer at night ☾ He that spills the rum, loses that only; He that drinks it, often loses both that and himself
  222. The greatest joy is in loving another more than oneself ♡ As sore places meet most rubs, proud folks meet most affronts
  223. Only the most talented people can wear their own shoes ɣ Many a man's own tongue gives evidence against his understanding
  224. The untutored mind does not like to be by itself ⁂ Strange that he who lives by shifts can seldom shift himself
  225. Politicians focus on voters with the poorest judgement ❧ Every man has assurance enough to boast of his honesty, few of their understanding
  226. Always try to solicit the right kind of help ✢ A countryman between 2 lawyers, is like a fish between two cats
  227. Wall calendars are cheapest in the second half of January ☐ He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner
  228. Don't be remembered for the way you die but for the way you live ✪ If you do what you should not, you must hear what you would not
  229. When possible, have several birthday parties ♕ Poverty, poetry and new titles of honour make men ridiculous
  230. Reliable or brilliant? ῼ Here comes the orator! with his flood of words and his drop of reason
  231. Agreements are many, but disagreements are more remembered ➳ Those who in quarrels interpose, must often wipe a bloody nose
  232. Shorter shelf life, greater exposure to risk † Marry above thy match, and thou'lt get a master
  233. For every enemy, there's a friend ➳ If you would keep your secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend
  234. Expect judgement day before you die, not after ✹ Avarice and happiness never saw each other, how then should they become acquainted
  235. Know when to negotiate, and when to navigate ※ Write with the learned, pronounce with the vulgar
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