Poor Matthew

Poor Matthew gives life philosophies with contemporary pearls of wisdom, each matched with a classical one from Poor Richard's Almanack.
Originally sent as emails to selected recipients in 2013.

Poor Matthew X Poor Richard

Refrigerators hold their value, televisions don't ɤ Beauty & folly are old companions
Ask the price first ψ Full of courtesy, full of craft
No mood, no relationship ᴥ Experience keeps a dear school, yet fools will learn in no other
Pharmacy girls know the best place to eat ф To lengthen life, lessen meals
Better a dumb real estate agent than a smart one Ϋ Courage would fight but discretion won't let him
Adults have manners, skills and dignity ȣ It is wise not to seek a secret and honest not to reveal it
It takes a year or more to learn the lay of the land ʘ Gifts much expected are paid not given
You can't eat cash † Death takes no bribes
Umpiring is a thankless task ᵜ Most people return small favours, acknowledge middling ones and repay great ones with ingratitude
Land value increases near train stations, it decreases near roads П Where there's no law there's no bread
The best plots of land are occupied first ɤ Three removes are as bad as a fire
The promise of tomorrow curbs bad behaviour ψ Many foxes grow grey, few grow good
Stress harms health more than processed foods ᴥ He's a fool that makes his doctor his heir
Wikipedia is the great oracle ф Opportunity is the great bawd
Reading is less effort than writing Ϋ The doors of wisdom are never shut
Better a President than a King ȣ Don't value a man for the quality he is of, but for the qualities he possesses
Important to judge one's judgement ʘ The rotten apple spoils his companion
Gift vouchers are a bad gift † Liberality is not in giving much but giving wisely
Ice creams are best had on the trot Ʊ He who multiplies riches multiplies cares
Air travel has lost the sparkle of yesteryear ✈ The cunning man steals a horse, the wise man lets him alone
A suit lends credibility to its wearer ɤ Gifts burst rocks
Pirates change allegiance with alacrity ψ Better slip with foot than tongue
People need 1 hour of alone time each day ⌂ Bad commentators spoil the best of books
Unsolicited help welcomed, unsolicited judgement not so ф Paintings and Fightings are best seen at a distance
The old may have earned poverty, the young never did Ϋ Deny self for self's sake
Trim your beard before church † Nice eaters seldom meet with a good dinner
People don't choose to be gay ♥ There are no ugly loves or handsome prisons
You can take things seriously without a serious look on your face ɤ Wink at small faults; remember thou hast great ones
If there are no greens, it's bogan food ◌ If you have no honey in your pot, have some in your mouth
Money talks and bullshit walks ☞ Bargaining has neither friends nor relations
Easy to recognize a bias when it's against you ψ After crosses and losses men grow humbler and wiser
Someone who has no vices is hiding one ☁ An open foe may prove a curse, but a pretended friend is worse
Staff aged to perfection are worth paying for • Learn from the skillful, he that teaches himself has a fool for his master
Exercise is the best vice ∞ Hunger is the best pickle
Prefer the smart solution to the quick ф Ignorance leads men into a party, Shame keeps them from getting out again
Religious holidays have become cultural holidays ✞ The creditors are a superstitious sect, great observers of set days and times
Fortune favours the brave ♛ At 20 the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgment
In this day and age, a career in tomfoolery is encouraged ✯ What's given shines, what's received is rusted
Sports fill a slow news day ✉ If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write something worth reading or do things worth the writing
Loss of patience reveals a lot of ones character Ϋ Imitate a good man, don't counterfeit him
Why are some box chocolates in foil and not others? ☁ A flatterer never seems absurd; the flattered always takes his word
Each generation is less grateful for the basics ɤ Many a man would have been worse if his estate had been better
To disagree with something you must first fully understand it ✎ It is ill-manners to silence a fool and cruelty to let him go on
Employers all want their pound of flesh ❧ If thou injurest conscience, it will have its revenge on thee
Stories are mostly reported to attract readership ◊ A lie stands on 1 leg, the truth 2
For the truth, ask what someone likes least ✍ He that can compose himself, is wiser than he that composes books
Be vocal when you don't know, quiet when you do ✪ As we must account for every idle word, so we must for every idle silence
Water or cola should not cost more than $1 ⊰ What maintains one vice would bring up two children
Don't talk politics at the dinner table, that's what coffee shops are for ☕ He that cannot bear with other people's passions cannot govern his own
The most fit judgments come from within ♥ Love your enemies for they tell you your faults
Only public wealth makes a country liveable ⁂ He that lives well is learned enough
Capacity is holding several unresolved questions in mind ȣ Cunning proceeds from want of capacity
Why should life be plain sailing? ≡ Diligence is the mother of good luck
When possible, vote with your feet ☁ He is not well-bred that cannot bear ill-breeding, in others
Knowing is in the eye ⊙ If thou hast wit & learning, add to it wisdom and modesty
To win at poker needs a slightly better hand than your opponent ✍ Keep flax from fire and youth from gaming
Nothing ruder than expecting a tip ➳ Be not niggardly of what costs thee nothing, as courtesy, counsel & countenance
Real estate agents are twice as rotten as tenants † Approve not of him who commends all you say
Don't sell your dignity, it is part of your soul ♡ Listeners seldom hear any good of themselves
Don't miss out on spices, they are a healthy distraction ❧ Three good meals a day is bad living
If you're here for a long stay, make yourself comfortable ☁ Love, cough and a smoke aren't well hid
Assholes don't come from countries ✂ Men take more pains to mask than mend
North Europe is progressive and productive, east Europe pretends to meet this agenda, south Europe doesn't bother ☭ The absent are never without fault, the present without excuse
Days are richer that contain space for spontaneity ⌚ Wish a miser long life and you wish him no good
Good wine, good company 🍷 Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing
Sell not just the product but the experience ♲ Three things men are most liable to be cheated in: a horse, a wig and a wife
Payrises are taxed, savings untaxed ⁂ It is not leisure that is not used
Opinions are ten a penny ◌ If you'd have a servant that you like, serve your self
Better to judge one's way of thinking rather than their words Ⅲ The excellency of hogs is fatness, of men virtue
Gifts and gestures have distant agendas ϟ In rivers and bad governments, the lightest things swim at top
Informative advice tends to contain the least judgment • Pox take you, is no curse to some people
Wars are caused by the old, fought by the young ➳ Anger warms the invention, but overheats the oven
Sugars increase blood viscosity, salts decrease it ❦ Thou hadst better eat salt with the philosophers of Greece, than sugar with the courtiers of Italy
Street junk varies by suburb ♡ He that falls in love with himself, will have no rivals
Use not agricultural land for grazing nor geniuses for donkey work † Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sun-dial in the shade!
Better to travel at equinox than at solstice ❀ Look before, or you'll find yourself behind
Don't text message while driving ♿ Hold your council before dinner; the full belly hates thinking as well as acting
Quiet prejudices are deeply entrenched, loud ones only on the surface ✯ A good conscience is a continual Christmas
No great country was ever made without the input of great women ☺ She that paints her face, thinks of her tail
Life is better without owning a car ʘ The worst wheel of the cart makes the most noise
There is usually both push and pull factor ϟ Hope of gain, lessens pain
Dairy contributes to the most products ф Pray don't burn my house to roast your eggs
Blacks are overrepresented in American toll booths ☻ Better than to know the names of things is to know their nature
Everyone has their own agenda and they rarely reveal all of it ☁ You may talk too much on the best of subjects
Mismatched couples make great hosts ۵ Dally not with other folks women or money
An ounce of gold cannot buy an ounce of time ⌛ Lost time is never found again
Motorbikes place riders at great risk • Wish not so much to live long as to live well
Growing old gracefully is the divine gift we give ourselves ⊰ Eat to please thyself, but dress to please others
Avoid accidents, even ones that aren't your fault ➳ A wolf eats sheep but now and then, thousands are devoured by men
Sometimes it's best to take the bull by the horns ✯ If evils come not, our fears are vain; If they do, fear but augments the pain
Resources greatly increase comfort, they little increase happiness 🚚 It's common for men to give pretended reasons instead of one real one
To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid ❦ Fools make feasts and wise men eat them
Trust your sense of smell П He's a fool that cannot conceal his wisdom
Forbidden is exciting ɤ In a discreet man's mouth, a public thing is private
Earlier adopters pay the largest margins ✢ He that can have patience can have what he will
If most are already there, you're late ◊ Words may show a man's wit but actions his meaning
Luncheon is a pretentious word Ϫ A good lawyer is a bad neighbour
Jews have won a lot of Nobel prizes ✡ Saying and doing have quarreled and parted
Always explain a punishment † Pardoning the bad is injuring the good
Professors must be corrigible ✯ Admiration is the daughter of ignorance
Most people won't admit to immense monetary wealth ◌ Wealth is not his that has it, but his that enjoys it
Rules too gentle or severe are seldom followed ❅ Love thy neighbor; yet don't pull down your hedge
Beware the young doctor and the old barber ✂ Beware the young psychologist and the old chemist
Spiders' walk unsettles humans ж Much virtue in herbs, little in men
Our stage in life is constantly changing Ⅲ The horse thinks one thing, he that saddles him another
Don't hesitate to put someone in the sin bin ☞ If you'd loose a troublesome visitor, lend him money
Cars are no longer a sign of affluence ☁ There are 3 faithful friends: an old wife, an old dog and ready money
It's not who is right, it's what is right ∞ The most exquisite folly is made of wisdom spun too fine
Complainers like the sound of their own voice * The closed mouth catches no flies
Focus on something unsolved ϟ Well done is better than well said
Most of us must be reminded how old we are ⌚ An old young man will be a young old man
Things happen fast when interests are aligned ☩ He that pays for work before it is done has but a pennyworth for twopence
No farmers, no food, no good ✹ There are lazy minds as well as lazy bodies
Things are worth what someone is willing to pay for them ≡ The poor have little, beggars none, the rich too much, enough not one
Don't hire someone who is not prepared to eat the offal ψ Can't obey, can't command
Know what you want to happen ≣ Go not to the doctor with every distemper, the lawyer with every quarrel or the pot with every thirst
Have a favourite fragrance ≃ To persuade, appeal to interest not intellect
If you can't move on from most disagreements you won't have a good life ❃ As charms are nonsense, nonsense is a charm
Closeness looks for somewhere to go ♥ Lovers, travelers and poets will give money to be heard
Fame is like an egg with the shell removed 💃 He is ill cloth'd, who is bare of virtue
We all have a piece missing ♡ Innocence is its own defence
Plot-holes are sometimes necessary to tell a good story ◌ Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man, healthy, wealthy and wise
If you're not prepared to change your behaviour, you aren't entitled to complain ⁂ Sloth and silence are a fool's virtues
Life has no character limits П Blame-all and Praise-all are two blockheads
Beware the woman who drives a limo 🚚 If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the philosophers stone
Every man needs a clean place to shit, shower & shave Ⅱ No man was ever glorious, who was not laborious
A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush ✌ Pay what you owe and you'll know what you own
Not hard to create confusion ⊰ Wiseguys talk much but say little
Drive more than 40 min to work? You're a road warrior. ✠ Drive thy business; let not that drive thee
Possession is 9 tenths of the law ✪ If you ride a horse, sit close and tight, If you ride a man, sit easy and light
Beauty is an awareness of value ❃ What one relishes, nourishes
People enter for a reason or a season ʘ Onions can make even heirs and widows weep
The best gifts aren't expected ❂ A father's a treasure; a brother's a comfort; a friend is both
Prefer people of substance over people of status 💃 He is no clown that drives the plow, but he that doth clownish things
Why is the best value product hidden at the back of the store? ℞ Weighty questions ask for deliberate answers
Don't shop on an empty stomach П Most of the learning in use is of no great use
Too many are afraid to get sued ✯ Listeners seldom hear any good of themselves
Seek simplicity, but distrust it ◌ There's more old drunkards than old doctors
Feedback is a form of judgment ≣ Many complain of their memory, few of their judgement
One man's trash is another's treasure ⌚ Time is a herb that cures all diseases
French are overtly rude, English discreetly ➳ There's a time to wink as well as to see
Much thought and progress is made in winter ❄ If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun
People don't have to be wise to possess knowledge that we don't ➳ Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn
Buy not from the sand people. Do you see agriculture or factories? ♨ Many have quarreled about religion, that never practiced it
Happiness depends largely on ones expectations ☩ 'Tis easier to suppress the first desire, than to satisfy all that follow it
Harder to make an insurance claim than to get robbed ✫ The miser's cheese is the wholesomest
If academia pays best, choose another industry ※ It's the easiest thing in the world to deceive oneself
Agriculture vastly increases fecundity ɣ Light heeled parents make leaden heeled children
Don't meet lovers on the internet; try speed dating ❣ An empty bag will not stand upright
It's often best to stew them slowly ѳ Let thy discontents be secrets
Some parts of us are old, other parts young † Some are weatherwise, some are otherwise
Plants commonly have the finest aroma where they struggle to grow ж Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of it is
Buildings occupied by their owners get the most improvements ✢ Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, nor liberty to purchase power
Meals are usually run at a loss, drinks at a profit ф He that would live in peace & at ease, must not speak all he knows or judge all he sees
While Sundays may no longer be Holy, they are still Sacred ᴥ Keep some mystique, Men freely ford that see the shallows
Daylight savings is too smart by half ☄ The sun never repents of the good he does, nor does he ever demand a recompence
You can see someone's demeanor out of the corner of your eye ψ Little rogues easily become great ones
Avoid status transactions ѳ The poor man must walk to get meat for his stomach, the rich man to get a stomach to his meat
To learn ones nature, watch them drive through traffic ⚛ He that can take rest is greater than he that can take cities
The best ball of twine is made when you save string ʘ Blessed is he that expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed
Character judgements are innate; vocabulary is acquired • The sting of a reproach is the truth of it
Boredom is a serious obstacle ☎ To hear other peoples afflictions, every one has courage enough, and to spare
Know when to play chess and when to play checkers ψ Beware of him that is slow to anger
Use your inside voice ⊰ The proud hate pride – in others
Advice, like water, is best taken in small portions ☐ You may give a man an office, but you can't give him discretion
Currencies rarely trade at fair value ✇ Let thy maidservant be faithful, strong and homely
The greatest advancements and safeties are had in places that make all ☭ Anger warms the Invention, but overheats the Oven
Know your master ☄ not a Holiday that's not kept holy
People are vocal on good investments, quiet on bad ones ♛ The good paymaster is lord of another man's purse
People rarely live up to their reputations ※ Success has ruined many a man
Small opportunities often lead to large ones ʘ Meanness is the parent of insolence
It's good to say yes, but know how to say no ☑ Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of
People like to fill a void ⑂ When the wine enters, out goes the truth
Memories are a valuable commodity ≣ Write injuries in dust, benefits in marble
Small margins = numerous customers # Do not do what you would not have known
Nothing as expensive as invading a country ➳ Think of 3 things, whence you came, where you are going and to whom you must account
We never run out of things to buy ⌚ Happy's the wooing that's not long a doing
Motorbikes, like blowflies, annoy human ears * Clean your finger before you point at my spots
A happy customer has 10 friends; a disgruntled customer has 100 ❣ Mary's mouth costs her nothing, for she never opens it but at others expense
Bogans tend to be conceited ɤ Jack Little sow'd little, & little he'll reap
Some parts of us are old, others young Ϫ Let thy child's first lesson be obedience, and the second may be what thou wilt
Assess the neighbours before buying in ♆ Drunkenness, that worst of evils, makes some men fools, some beasts, some devils
Middle class jobs, top class infrastructure ☄ Sudden power is apt to be insolent, sudden liberty saucy; That behaves best which has grown gradually
There's big money in hydrocarbons ☯ Children and princes will quarrel for trifles
Integrity stands up to privation ➳ The wise and brave dares own that he was wrong
A poor product won't be bought twice ☐ Who has deceived thee so oft as thy self?
If the barber draws blood, don't give him a tip ✂ Necessity never made a good bargain
Misuse of hegemony breeds hatred ♛ Without justice, courage is weak
Better to pay for a meal before than after ❧ He that steals the old man's supper, does him no wrong
Successful people don't do everything they're told ☞ He that pursues two hares at once, does not catch one
It only takes a few words to ruin the mood ⚔ Man's tongue is soft and bone doth lack; Yet a stroke therewith may break a man's back
We often teach what we need to learn ✢ There are three things extremely hard, steel, a diamond and to know one's self
To earn one's respect, try to understand them from the bottom up ⚑ Great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults, greater to tell him his
If you're a wanker, chances are you have a business card ☐ A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one
Don't underestimate the power of silence • There's small revenge in words, but words may be greatly revenged
Don't underestimate the power of presence ❃ Against some men's principle to pay interest and seems against others interest to pay the principal
Innovation sometimes deserves a reward, efficiency always # Since thou art not sure of a minute, throw not away an hour
Don't confuse a personality for a mental illness ɤ Ceremony is not civility; nor civility ceremony
Insurance is for worriers ♲ Haste makes waste
People remember who attends a funeral † You will be careful if you are wise, how you touch men's religion, credit or eyes
Global warming is more visible close to the Earth's poles Ϫ He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else
Very hard to prove the cause of a cancer ʘ Great talkers, little doers
Strategy and shame are old foes ☯ He does not possess wealth, it possesses him
Don't battle your contemporaries, battle yourself ⚑ Neither a fortress nor a maidenhead will hold out long after they begin to parly
Try not to punish people for sharing their thoughts; equally, try not to punish people for listening to your thoughts ⌂ Bad commentators spoil the best of books
Your past will catch up with you, if you live long enough ☻ Many foxes grow grey, few grow good
Most of the time we can only admire or eschew ♕ Kings have long arms, but misfortune longer, let none think themselves out of her reach
Manners, both good and bad, are contagious ɣ Only a well-bred man knows how to confess a fault or acknowledge himself in error
Don't look at your smartphone as you cross the road ✍ Experience keeps a dear school, yet fools will learn in no other
Have adventures before your parents die ψ After 3 days men grow weary of a wench, a guest and rainy weather
Since manufactories have moved to China, very few improvements have been made in the west ※ There was never a good knife made of bad steel
Don't order duck in an Italian restaurant ♨ Are you angry that others disappoint you? remember you cannot depend upon yourself
Most pay for bad advice, but ignore good advice when it is free ✪ The wise man draws more advantage from his enemies, than the fool from his friends
If there art a god in heaven, would he want Gays to have a hard life? ʘ Good wives and good plantations are made by good husbands
Friday night outings are best avoided ◌ He that best understands the world, least likes it
For every kind lawyer, there are three evil ones ⚑ Never praise your Cyder, Horse, or Bedfellow
The more time you spend with someone, the greater the chances of reaching a bottom ⌘ There's none deceived but he that trusts
Find a partner with the same number of children as you ➳ You can't pluck roses without fear of thorns, nor enjoy a fair wife without danger or horns
Most people pay too little credence to the nature of the beast ≡ We may give advice, but we cannot give conduct
The most pointless arguments start when someone thinks the other has been rude first ◍ Quarrels never could last long if on one side only lay the blame
Many are good for a chat in daylight, far fewer at night ☾ He that spills the rum, loses that only; He that drinks it, often loses both that and himself
The greatest joy is in loving another more than oneself ♡ As sore places meet most rubs, proud folks meet most affronts
Only the most talented people can wear their own shoes ɣ Many a man's own tongue gives evidence against his understanding
The untutored mind does not like to be by itself ⁂ Strange that he who lives by shifts can seldom shift himself
Politicians focus on voters with the poorest judgement ❧ Every man has assurance enough to boast of his honesty, few of their understanding
Always try to solicit the right kind of help ✢ A countryman between 2 lawyers, is like a fish between two cats
Wall calendars are cheapest in the second half of January ☐ He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner
Don't be remembered for the way you die but for the way you live ✪ If you do what you should not, you must hear what you would not
When possible, have several birthday parties ♕ Poverty, poetry and new titles of honour make men ridiculous
Reliable or brilliant? ῼ Here comes the orator! with his flood of words and his drop of reason
Agreements are many, but disagreements are more remembered ➳ Those who in quarrels interpose, must often wipe a bloody nose
Shorter shelf life, greater exposure to risk † Marry above thy match, and thou'lt get a master
For every enemy, there's a friend ➳ If you would keep your secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend
Expect judgement day before you die, not after ✹ Avarice and happiness never saw each other, how then should they become acquainted
Know when to negotiate, and when to navigate ※ Write with the learned, pronounce with the vulgar